What kind of person are you?

• Introvert: A shy, reticent person. They need someone to take their hand and lead.

• Extrovert: An outgoing, overtly expressive person. They take someones hand and lead them.

• Personally, my wife and I are both Introverted. We have to overcome that every single event. We want be the life of the party so we fake it till we make it. SShhhh, nobody knows that. ;)

• First, Relax, this process is fun, not work.

• Talk! How are you going to get a chance to get someone to take off their pants if they don’t know you want them to?

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Body Language

• Look approachable. What does your body language say when you are sitting down? How about standing up? Do you cross your arms, face away from the crowd? Do you have “Resting bitch face” or “Resting dick face”?

• What's the biggest thing people forget? To smile. It’s genuine, it shows you are having fun and you are approachable. Tell each other jokes. Don’t make it look like you are laughing at others though. 

• Don’t take up wall space. They have paintings for that. Taking a break or just observing is fine.

• Don't sit in corners, Don't huddle, etc... Your getting the idea now.

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Approaching People

• Is no couple approaching you? Then go approach them  

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Names

• Try very hard to remember names of people you like. It's such a turn off to talk to someone for an hour, feel a connection, then have them call you by the wrong name.

• If you talk to another couple and they forget your name, do not be offended!

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Stay away from the “Resume”

• Don’t ask

  • Where they work

  • How many kids they have

  • Where they went to school, etc…

• Those types of questions get people defensive quick

• The Lifestyle is pretty discreet and people enjoy privacy.

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No Phone

Don’t be caught with your phone out

Talk about the WHAT not the WHO.

Wanna talk about a hot encounter you had last month? Great, tell it but don't give out any personal information without their consent. You don't want to be telling a story about how you had a threesome last month only to find out the couple you are talk to now is related, or they work together. 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T is one of the most important things in The Lifestyle.

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How do you approach a couple?

Most people don’t care how you, as a couple, approach them. But, some ways are better. First impressions are big and you want to come of with as much respect and you can, right? Some couples will want the man of a couple to come up to the man first and introduce each other. Then they will bring the women in. Other couples are OK with both the women making plans and then grab their men and say “come on, we are all going to a private room together” The safest way is if you both approach them both and give them both your full attention and listen to them equally.

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Elevator Pitch

• 30 sec - 1 min 

• Verbal version of the “About You” section on a swingers site.

• Elements - 

  • Your Names

  • Your condensed lifestyle profile: 

  • Interests

  • Goals

  • Limits

  • Your offer

• Hello, We are John and Tiffany. We are married swingers. She is Bi and he is straight. We are looking for same room play up to full swap, we only play together, never separate. We are easy going and pretty tame. We only play with others when fully protected, some say we like to play “Doctor” because there is so much latex in the room. We are normally very introverted and have a difficult time asking a couple to a private room. We are looking for a couple that is committed to each other that is easy going and full of laughter.. So we say we are looking for Friends with Benefits that might want to play tonight.. You two look fun an we might click. What are you two looking for?

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Conversation Topics

• Oh look! The couple across the room keeps making eye contact!

• Do they peak your interest enough to go say hi?

• Are they new to the club, new to the Lifestyle, new to the area?  Have you seen them before? Ask when the last time they were there? How did they enjoy it? If you talked to them before, what was the topic of conversation and where did it go?

• What are their rules and boundaries? PAUSE Are they bi? Or straight. Soft, fullswap, same room PAUSE What do they want to do?

• Are they a quiet person and need someone to pull them out of their corner?

• After talking with them do you two and them “Click”? How do you see the future with them? Are they a couple you just want to chat with? Or is the chemistry there for the next level?​